"Now I will arise..."

As I sat (OK...plopped) down on my couch with a sigh after only an hour and half of my Thursday morning, I wonder to myself if I am really going to make it through this day. What do I want to do with my day? I want to enjoy my kids. I want to take them to the pool and have fun with them. I want to be able to do my laundry without grimacing in pain. I want to be able to stand up long enough to actually cook dinner for my family. Sounds like pretty normal stuff, except that I am hugely pregnant with enough back pain to have me flat on my couch for much of the day. The physical pain brings enough tears to my eyes, but the emotional pain of not being able to live my life, or enjoy my kids, is really exhausting and overwhelming. So, I was on my couch, praying that God would just take away this pain, and I thought I would read a Psalm. I opened my Bible to Psalm 13. Not because it has some special meaning to me, it was just the next one to read from where I left off a few days (weeks...) before. As I was reading, I was really moved by Psalm 13: 5 which says, "For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, Now I will Arise," says the Lord; "I will set him in the safety for which he yearns." Thank you Lord. I went over and over it, knowing what God was trying to tell me. What He is always trying to tell me and I have few moments that I actually listen. "Turn to me Cortney, trust in Me Cortney. I know your need. I hear your sighs. I will set you in to safety. I have already risen. I will rise up for you every moment of every day." Thank you Lord.

What did we do all morning - we went to the pool ( I even put sunscreen on all three of us!)! Am I still in pain - more than before. But I know and trust that God is in this pain. I know and trust that when we got home from the pool He heard my sigh of relief to just sit back down. What am I praying for now? That my kids will rest this afternoon so that I can too! Why do we push ourselves beyond what we think we are capable of? Because God has called us to be moms and He never gives us more than we can handle. Thank you Lord.