Looking Forward

Evan and I went to visit my very pregnant sister in law this morning. It was a nice visit and we all enjoyed ourselves. But Evan was so overstimulated by his little cousin and by our restaurant outing for lunch that he was unable to go down for his afternoon nap upon our return home.

I felt badly for him, since he was so obviously exhausted and decided that perhaps a walk on our nearby trail might put him to sleep and keep him that way for a while (see previous post about the bunny!)

Typically we walk in the mornings, when the trail is quiet and things are cooler. It is a very different place in the afternoons. While still serene, it is busy with joggers, bikers and the occasional equestrian. The river is crowded too. Tubing is a very popular pasttime, especially on these sticky Maryland afternoons. Since the trail runs alongside the river, it's sort of like a double expressway of traffic. The most serious tubers are the teenagers, who flock to the river in droves for this old fashioned fun.

Today was no exception and only a few minutes into our walk, I saw a large group of teens up ahead, all in bathing suits and all carrying tubes. (Groups often hike the trail north for a mile or two and then ride the river south back to their starting point.) The group was strung out along the trail, loud, obviously disorganized and perfectly teenagerish. A boy toward the front of this straggling line yelled back at his friends, "Come on you guys, hurry up!" And then he yelled what I would consider to be a very bad word.

Immediately, five or six of the crowd hushed him. I realized that they simultaneously looked at me, since I had come up almost next to them. Each of them had a humble, sheepish look on their faces and several smiled and said hello to me. The boy who had yelled also said hello and seemed very embarassed. I smiled back at each of them and continued walking.

This whole interaction struck me for several reasons. First, it made me realize that I am now officially part of the mom police. I was not the mother of any one of these lanky fifteen somethings. But they saw the stroller and the baby and instantly knew that I was attuned to their rule-breaking. Since Evan is only eight months old, this realization came as a sort of surprise to me.

Second, while you might think that I would be horrified by what this teenage boy was yelling, I was instead touched at the instant reaction of his friends, and at what appeared to be his sincere humility. Thankfully, Evan is still blissfully unaware of "bad" words, so I had no worry for what he had overheard.

As I continued to walk, I flashed forward fifteen years. Undoubtedly, Evan will walk this same trail with his friends in flip flops and swim trunks, with a tire tube around his shoulder. And, while I would like to hope that I will raise a perfect son, I suspect that there will be times that he will cross certain boundary lines and perhaps use bad language. Just like God knows that we will sin, I know that my baby boy will not always be so pure of heart.

And yet, the best I can hope for is that when he crosses such lines he recognizes his mistakes, like the group of kids I saw today did. I hope that despite the self-consciousness and the need to find and define boundaries that he will inevitably face, that he has a conscience. I hope he will be one of the boys who will shush his friend or hang his head in humility if he went too far.

I hope he will grow up to be a strong kid. I hope he will grow up to be a good man.

We walked on...and Evan never did fall asleep.